


How to Plan a Birthday Party

by epistemology



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Dick is a bad party planner, Don't Post To Another Site, Gen, M/M, Not Beta Read, can be read as platonic or romantic, so I'm tagging as both
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epistemology/pseuds/epistemology
Summary: “It’s Damian’s birthday next week.”“So?”“So, I want to throw him a birthday party.”Jason stared, waiting for the joke to fall flat, but Dick looked serious, and for some reason it annoyed him.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 12
Kudos: 149





	How to Plan a Birthday Party

**Author's Note:**

> This was written quickly with minimal editing because I was bored. Enjoy!
> 
> (Fun fact: This fic is entitled “Demon Birthday” in my google doc. That is all.)

Someone was knocking on the door.

That was odd, Jason thought. Every one of the Bats entered through the window because privacy was an unknown concept to them, and Jason didn’t really have anyone else who would visit on a Saturday morning.

He rolled out of bed, less gracefully than he would like to admit but no one was watching, and pulled on the nearest pair of pants. Whoever wanted to wake him up early on a Saturday was not going to get a well-dressed Jason.

He opened the door to find Dick Grayson looking up at him, eyes full of something Jason didn’t dare name. There was too much mischief in them for it to be anything good.

“What d’you want?” He groused, but let Dick enter.

“Your help.”

“That why you used the door? Waited for me to answer it an’ everything.” 

Dick smiled like he’d been caught. “Well if I need your help, then I need to get on your good side. Though I was getting ready to pick the lock if you’d taken any longer.”

“Figures. What do you need _my_ help for?”

“It’s Damian’s birthday next week.”

“So?”

“So, I want to throw him a birthday party.”

Jason stared, waiting for the joke to fall flat, but Dick looked serious, and for some reason it annoyed him.

“You want to throw him a birthday party,” he repeated slowly. “You do realize the demon probably doesn’t even want one, right?”

“Don’t call him that,” Dick said, mostly out of habit, because there was no heat behind it. “And he’s never had a birthday party before.”

“I repeat, so? Neither have I.”

Jason regretted the words the moment they left his mouth, because now Dick’s eyes were full of something dangerously close to pity.

“It’s not a big deal,” he rushed to amend.

“Not a big deal?” Dick’s voice was growing louder. “Why not? I mean, not even with Bruce before-?”

“Hold your righteous anger for a sec,” Jason said, and, as good as it felt to have that anger being directed _for_ him and not _at_ him, it was based on a misunderstanding. “I never wanted one, okay? Bruce asked me, and I said I just wanted to hang out with him and Alfred. For once, I’m not actually blaming him, got it?”

“Okay.” Dick looked calmer, but he was still simmering a little.

“Anyway, what are we doing for Damian, then?” Jason asked, changing the subject abruptly as he always did when it got too close to his Robin days.

“So you’ll help?”

“I wanna see how this all turns out. Either the kid’ll get sappy and embarrassed, or he’ll start attacking people with his katana, and frankly, both of those options sound highly amusing.”

Before Dick could respond to that statement or probe for the actual reason, Jason turned around into the kitchen and began pulling things out of cabinets. If he was going to help Dick plan a birthday party for the little demon then he needed breakfast and also some coffee. He thought about making some for Dick as well before deciding against it. That’ll teach him not to wake Jason up early again.

Dick followed him into the kitchen, peering over Jason’s shoulder at his breakfast preparations, and Jason shifted just enough so that he couldn’t see. He was petty like that.

“I already asked Tim, but he said no. I wouldn’t have come to you otherwise,” Dick apologized, still trying to sneak a glance. He was leaning on the counter now, and his nonchalant pose aggravated Jason for some reason.

“Oh, so I’m not even your first choice, huh?”

Before Dick could apologize for his apology, or maybe just chew Jason out for antagonizing him, he added, “Why’d you even ask the Replacement? Everyone knows he hates Damian. You can’t possibly have thought he’d help!”

“Are you gonna help me or not?” Dick snapped.

Jason just scooped his scrambled eggs onto a plate and began to eat, standing in the middle of the kitchen. He waited another few seconds to say anything because he knew it would rile Dick up. He loved seeing Dick get riled up.

“Sure, okay. What’re your ideas so far?”

One look at Dick’s embarrassed expression told Jason he hadn’t come prepared.

“Okay, then. We should start with the basics.”

“The basics,” Dick repeated.

“Yeah, like the invite list.”

“Who do _you_ think we should invite?”

“Hell if I know! You know the kid better than me!”

Dick put on a very obvious “I’m thinking” face, and Jason ignored him as he finished the last of his eggs. He didn’t feel like doing dishes, so he put the plate on top of the pan he’d left to soak in the sink.

This was going to be a long morning.

“You wanna move to the couch?” Jason said when Dick still hadn’t come up with anything, and Dick nodded, following Jason to the rather beat up sofa at the other end of the apartment. It sat next to the window for easy access, and Jason hoped Dick wouldn’t mind the blood stains. He’d tried to clean them, but the stains never came out completely.

Dick either didn’t notice or didn’t care and plopped down with an exaggerated flair. Jason sat all the way at the other end, because Dick’s position had taken up half the couch.

“Well obviously everyone in the family should come,” he said, answering Jason’s earlier question, “plus the Kents, oh and all the Titans, and probably Colin and that girl Maya-”

Jason cut him off before the list could get too out of hand. “Are you sure he’ll want all these people there?”

“It’s a birthday party! We need to have a lot of guests!”

“Okay, but what if instead we made it a small party? Like, just the family. I think he’d prefer that.”

Dick frowned, no doubt disappointed at not throwing a big birthday bash. “I guess that’s a good idea. Maybe at least invite Jon, though. Damian likes him.”

“Damian likes someone?”

“Shocking, right? But, yeah, Little D’s made a real life friend.”

Jason snorted and pretended that he didn’t like the easy banter that was currently happening. “What about preparations?” He asked instead.

“Preparations?”

“Yeah, like, what kind of food and decorations should there be, because I’m still thinking minimal.”

“We should decorate the Manor! I can get streamers and confetti and balloons! It’ll look great!”

Jason let his nose scrunch up the way it very clearly wanted to. “Again, don’t think he’ll like that. And Alfred won’t want to clean up confetti anyways.”

“I guess you’re right,” Dick conceded but didn’t look as upset as Jason would have expected. “Minimal it is. What about food? We could get a caterer!”

Once again, Jason found himself gently leading Dick away from his more elaborate ideas. “How about Alfred cooks? Damian loves Alf’s cooking.”

“But that’s what we have every night.”

“And Damian likes it,” Jason said with an air of finality. “Anything else we need to decide or was that it?” He was ready for this birthday planning nightmare to be over.

“Wait a minute!” Dick sat up straight. “You just helped me plan a family dinner! I came here to plan a birthday party, and you made me plan dinner! It’s literally just family dinner!”

He looked at Jason accusingly, and Jason laughed. “C’mon Dickie, a family dinner is what Damian _wants_. He doesn’t want a big party, he wants a quiet dinner with his favorite people. Plus Tim.”

“You did this on purpose!”

“Look, the moment you said you wanted to plan him a party, I knew I had to intervene.”

“Is that the only reason you agreed to help?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Jason admitted.

Dick slumped back into the cushions, defeated. “We still have to figure out food.”

“What’s his favorite meal?”

“I’m not sure. I know he likes it when Alfred makes the dishes he used to have when he was with the League, but he also says it’s not the same.”

Jason had always liked cooking, both with Alfred and on his own. It was a good thing he’d paid attention to the food during his time under Talia’s care.

“I can make something.”

Dick perked up at that. “You can?”

“Yeah, I remember some of the meals, and it probably wouldn’t be very hard to recreate them.”

“So what I’m hearing is you’ll come?”

“Well, yeah, I’ll have to come if I’m making the food…” Jason trailed off, taking in the grin that Dick was trying very hard to stifle.

“Oh hell no! You bastard!”

“What?” Dick feigned ignorance. And Jason knew he was feigning it.

“You tricked me! This was never about Damian! You’d never be stupid enough to think he’d want a party! This was about getting me to come to family dinner!”

A grin slowly stretched across Dick’s face, and Jason wanted to punch it off him. “Okay, you got me. But how else was I supposed to get you to come?”

“Literally anything else! I mean, I woulda said no, but at least you’da been honest!”

“But we want you to come, Jay!”

“Bullshit!”

“Is that really so hard to believe? That we like hanging out with you and want you to be there?”

“Yeah, kinda! Bruce doesn’t know what to do with me, the Replacement probably doesn’t care either way, I doubt Damian even wants me at his party-”

“Fine, is it so hard to believe that _I_ want you to come?”

That statement stopped Jason from what he’d been about to yell. He felt something in him deflate. “Why?”

Dick looked at him with something that definitely wasn’t pity. Jason was too scared to give it a name.

“Why not?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why not, Jay? Why wouldn’t I want you to come? I _love_ hanging out with you, I do! I had fun today, and I love patrolling with you, and I-”

Dick stopped abruptly and cleared his throat, jaw set and expression guarded again. “Look, do what you want. Come or don’t, it’s your choice.”

He stood up and left, and Jason didn’t stop him. The brusque change in tactic threw him off; what was Dick doing? Trying to guilt him into coming by giving him the illusion of choice?

_“I had fun today, and I love patrolling with you, and I-”_

What had he been about to say?

Jason pulled out his phone and marked Damian’s birthday on his calendar. Maybe he could make an appearance.

**Author's Note:**

> My [tumblr](https://epistemologys.tumblr.com/)


End file.
